My buddy Dave from work asked his girlfriend once if she noticed his watch. New to him, thrifted of course. He’s the king of this cheap watch schtick so trust me, he was bragging when he told me the story. She looked at him funny for a second and said “you have a watch on?” Fair comment, wasn’t asked maliciously or anything, was just straight up honestly asking if he was wearing a watch. Dude tells me this like it somehow settled the score, like it was undeniable proof that wearing a badass watch is gonna turn women’s heads. No it didn’t.
That just proved one woman noticed his watch that one time. Possibly because he has no idea how to dress like he wears a watch on a daily basis and look cool doing it.
I spiraled after having my own come to Timex moment a while back and it’s a silly question I’ll concede at the top. Blonde woman sitting across from me at the coffee shop on a first date vibe (hey babe, it was the before times) reaches over randomly midsentence and just flips my wrist around a little to peek at the face. Never mentioned price or brand. Said “that’s a nice color, the dial I mean.” Then continued our conversation like she didn’t just ruin my WATCH LIFE forever. Four words. I’ll never not think about those four words. Thought about them more than I’ve thought about any watch I’ve purchased since.
Does she actually care? Am I one weirdobaldi?
So here’s my conclusion after over analyzing something that literally nobody cares about except me and Alan_T Watches from r/watchuptocopyright on Reddit: they do notice, but not how we want them to notice, and definitely not for why we buy watches in the first place.
We buy watches for the story we can tell ourselves when we strap it on. Hell, I even do this with stupid cheap watches. The Japanese movement, the craft in places still making watches like watches were meant to be made, yada yada yada. This watch was worn by Evel Knievel or it bounced around Vietnam in a parachute twice. Nobody on a date cares about any of that crap. What they do notice is whether you look like you threw it on in the dark and woke up hoping it matched your outfit, or if it looks like you know what you’re doing when it comes to clothes. Not “oh his watch looks nice” but “oh he has his s ** t together.” Much heavier cognitive lifting for a piece of metal that maybe retails for less than your phone.
Trust me I asked. Informal poll alert: I asked women I know about this. Over text. Which means this is not science, this is four strangers messaging back and forth in a Facebook group chat. Two of them said they don’t really look at watches specifically but will notice “if hands look cared for” so slap a watch on that counts I guess. One said only if it was super obviously fake, you know like a Rolex sticker on a $40DV cause that just screams “I’ll pretend I got this awesome watch I can’t afford cause I’m DESPERATE.” And one.. one said damn Karen every time I think about this reply. She said “I notice if you’re wearing one at all, not which one.” Boom. Four women. Four different answers. None of them gave one crap about the brand or the heritage.
Women noticing your watch is like guys noticing you have good posture. Not gonna start a conversation about it, hell won’t even realize that was the thing they appreciated until you don’t have it anymore. But your Rolex is not going to impress her any more than your Mitt pressed collars. It’s a part of the whole package.
I’ve been doing all my mental math wrong my entire watch buying life
So here’s the earth shattering revelation that changed my watch game. And no I don’t mean learning how important water resistance is or getting into vintage because guy at BBQ last summer had one. I spent too long thinking about how many times I wear a watch to justify the price. I can wear this Seiko 300 times for maximum wearability and that $190 dude watch drops down to something comfortable my anxiousbrain can deal with. Saw a $30 Casio at like 3 cents a wear once over two years and felt like Elon hitting that number. What if it goes completely unnoticed? What if I’m wearing that watch and it does absolutely nothing for my presence in the room?
Let me tell you what changed how I look at watches. Don’t get me wrong I still like flashy as hell watches as much as the next washed neck. But when I’m digging through that vintage case Thursday after work at my local thrift when the lone volunteer manning the store restocks the display by the register I’m no longer looking at the WW1 era spectro that was near and dear to my dad’s heart. I want the one that looks intentional on someone’s wrist. Spotless watch face, strap that isn’t coming off in their hand, not so slim it swallows their wrist whole.
I bought an eleven dollar watch off that very shelf two Thurs ago. some no name brand beef graph I found in the military bin that was designed to not get scratched and failed so hard it actually made me hate jewelry polish. sanded down the motherf**king caseback myself with some foil and a toothbrush. And that watch I dug out of someone else’s trash has got more compliments than my $140 Sealand I felt hotter as hell wearing for a week before it got back on that shelf. Doesn’t matter how good it looks if no one cares you’re wearing it.
Point being no they don’t care that your watch was worn on Mt Everest and has William Darby’s dead dried blood on the seam.
They notice you looked good wearing it though, and the watch is only a small part of your overall vibe. But we get to fidget with our watches. Hold up your wrist to conversation for just a second longer and hide that we’re doing it by checking the time. Kind of does more for you than whatever your watch looks like I think.
Look for the one that looks like you meant to wear that when you got dressed that day. Be that one. Fuck kidding around, that’s what I went full Blues Clues on your watches for. Took me a pretty colored $6 Timex and a girls ignorance of watches to learn that lesson. Don’t feel bad if it takes you awhile too.
Liam is a sparky from Birmingham who got into charity shopping during one very skint year and never really stopped. He works out the cost per wear on everything he buys, sometimes out loud, sometimes wrongly the first time.
