For years my go-to bite about denim shorts was that they were costumes, not outfits. I told this particular guy hanging at a Fourth of July cookout in 2019 that he looked like he’d walked out of a Structure catalog circa 2004, and he laughed, and I high-fived myself several times in my head, and then went home and timidly slipped into the pair I’d bought “just for funsies” two years prior and posed in front of my closet mirror for what was objectively too long. See the problem in that last sentence? That’s essentially the crux of the denim shorts debate. On one man’s body, they exist in this twilight zone of widely held opinions and very little middle ground. Do you think they read as too lazy and dad energy or you think everybody who refuses to wear them past a certain age is willfully rocking stiffness nobody asked for?
I’ve irrationally been 100% on team beefbone about this and also 100% on team pleasejustwerefrienselves at different points in my life. Both are embarrassing to admit and also the only way I know I’ll have perspective on it now.
Anti denim shorts people aren’t wrong, they’re just old
The people who hate on denim shorts have a point and I want to lay that out for them before I rip it away. The buzzkill version exists. It’s got legs up to your butt, shorts that hit around your kneecap, pockets so gaping they look like they want to detach themselves entirely, and it’s almost always seen with a dated graphic tee that wasn’t cool when it was new and isn’t making a comeback. That look was rampant, I wore that exact outfit, washed in light enamel and with just way too much room in the thigh, and thought I looked good up until the time I wore that getup to a cookout and my neighbor Grant, not unkindly, asked me if I got it at a costume store. That idea is what a lot of dudes are hanging onto when they say denim shorts couldn’t be anymore unfashionable if they tried. And they’re not wrong! About that specific pair! But they are describing a fit that sells almost nowhere anymore believing to be still relevant.
Stop. Let me explain where I’m going with this. People who think denim shorts went out with ABC’sretro clothing are just burnt out on wearing a pair that hasn’t been properly updated since stores stopped carrying them. Which they have. Fit is everything with shorts and it changed. drastically. Where they used to fall loose through your thigh they now sit closer to the body, hem around mid thigh instead of at the knee, and don’t ride up when you walk. It’s not a subtle alteration either. That’s like swapping shirts with your shorts wearing the same name tag. I bought a pair last summer mostly out of defiance, to convince myself that I could still forcefully make the “it’s never stylish to wear denim shorts” argument and found myself wearing them to sit on a roof for a few hours, run to the store, and then again at my friends toddler birthday party all within the same seven day stretch. Nobody said anything to me about my shorts and, holy shit, let me explain why that’s the entire point. Nobody says anything when you wear a well cut pair of denim shorts. They screamed at me about that relic.
Part two of being anti denim shorts I will actually give more credit to than those interested in preserving their stiffness in 2024. Context. Guys claiming denim shorts don’t work are never saying run out and wear them to your next wedding or business meeting, they’re saying don’t wear them when there’s another option. Which you wouldn’t wear a hoodie to a wedding either and yet we’re not publishing think pieces about how hoodies will never be acceptable because of that.
My full view on denim shorts and the one rule to follow
Alright cool cool cool. Time to put all this together and give you my answer. Are denim shorts something you should wear as an adult man in 2024? Yes. Do you have to wear them? Of course not. But if you’re reaching for summer shorts this year there’s absolutely nothing wrong with grabbing a pair of denim ones. Do you need to follow any rules to make sure they work? Just one. Hem length. That’s literally the golden rule when it comes to wearing denim shorts right now. If they hit anywhere near your knee they’re.signal overdubs COVID They’re stuck in 2009 and will look like it regardless of how nice your top is or how confidently you wear them. If they stop somewhere mid thigh, about two to four inches above the knee based on your height, you’re good to go and will blend in seamlessly with every other person not wearing long pants in the summer (hint: it’s not flashy, it’s trendy).
I’ll go a step further here because I think taking that approach water downs the whole thing. Denim shorts are actually a better bet than something like chino shorts a lot of men will reach for because cotton just doesn’t hold its shape like denim can. When you sit in pants all day for work and then walk around on your weekends those chinos are gonna start tenting at the thighs by 10am and everyone can see your undies.
Denim keeps it together. Wore a pair from morning till night last weekend and swung by the farmers market, went for a 2 hour walk with the pup, sat on a curb eating food I probably should’ve thrown up, and they didn’t change from how they looked at 9AM. Try that with your worn out gym shorts or some other cotton blend and message me how they look by lunchtime.
Feel free to argue with me about anything above, but where I will give the shirt dummers some credit is how you jacket them. Throw the wrong top with your tight hitting shorts and you’ll still look like a damn circus act even if they’ve got that new hem length. Something basic works, plain tee, unassuming button up, hell even that graphic tee but sans the goat smashing your opponents face into the ground slogan. Trying too hard is trying too hard no matter how good your denim shorts fit is.
In short denim shorts aren’t a vestige of the past you were supposed to leave behind when you graduated to “real shorts” along with cargo pants and popped collars. They evolved when we weren’t paying attention. Length is everything, keep your top straightforward, and please for the love of all that is holy stop letting 2014 decide this for you.
Marcus started the menswear section after getting fed up with coverage that called a two hundred and fifty pound hoodie an easy Tuesday buy. Based in London, he writes about pricing, returns policies and what brands actually deliver.
